so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
