What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
