oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We are all done wearing pants today
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
