Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
