dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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