But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
