Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
