somebody snuck up and got me drunk
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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