STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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