she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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