New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
