I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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