so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I would ride that face into the sunset
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
how does that bad decision feel?
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