I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize