Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
