Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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