doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
