sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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