do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
