Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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