I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want to make out with him forever
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
