if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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