I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
