How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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