After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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