We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
