I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My vagina just clenched in fear
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