hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
