I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just gift wrapped bread.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I am one with the molecules
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
