If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
