Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
