She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
