I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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