if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
