I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
