apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
well you can't waste a boner
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
His nipple licking is glorious
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