I wish I only lived at night.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
