We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
