I must be too annoying 4 u.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My feet surprised me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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