How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
