My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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