Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
