I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
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