No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
