I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
