Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
