Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's blow job season.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
