nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
