well you can't waste a boner
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
