Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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