just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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