so explain again why im purple
no
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
