Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
