Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
