a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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