Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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