You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
