There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i don't like sucking hair
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
two words...techno handjob
Are my feet made of real feet?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
