I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
