Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
