Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
