giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
